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Safety is paramount when meeting people through contact adverts or IRC. Following basic safety advice will help prevent some nasty situations, but even once you think you know the person care must still be taken as the article below will show. Firstly, remember these basic rules:

Always let someone know where you are going.
Always meet in a public place for a first date.
Make sure the person(s) you are meeting are genuine.
Always use a condom!!

Pleaase read the following article from alt.torture, a warning about how things can go wrong....

Newsgroups: alt.torture
Subject: BDSM in the News - "New Dangerous Top Hits Houston"
Date: 4 Sep 1997 23:22:12 GMT

(BOUDOIR NOIR-Toronto) A new "dangerous Top" has been reported in Houston, Texas. His assault on a submissive female with a knife has resulted in criminal charges being filed.

Using the name "Thor," the man attended Houston PEP meetings and posted a personal ad on Stephen's BDSM Page at This same web site has been used by Richard Gordon, the abusive Houston dominant named in Boudoir Noir issue 17.

The submissive and Thor communicated through email, until she cut off communication with him when his messages became threatening. She reports she agreed to meet him eight time out of exasperation, but stood him up every time. Thor continued to send messages, telling the submissive where he had seen her and what she had been wearing. Although she did not encourage the calls, and attempted to block his calls, the communications continued.

She finally agreed to meet him with the intent of telling him to leave her alone. He pulled a knife on her, forced her to strip and cut her legs and stomach, leaving 12-inch lacerations. He penetrated her with his hands and the knife handle and forced her to have oral sex with him. He crushed her finger with his shoe, leaving her blood at the scene.

Fortunately, the submissive had support in Houston. With their help, she reported the incident to the police and went to hospital for treatment and to collect medical evidence.

The submissive reported the incident to Stephen, who had run the man's ad on his web site. The police had alredy downloaded Thor's picture and information from that website.

The submissive was interviewed by a Houston police officer, who at first implied she had "asked for it" since she was into BDSM. The next day, the officer's tone had changed, leading one of the observer's to think the officer had been spoken to by one of his coworkers. The police are now looking for Thor and will obtain hair samples, etc. so that they can do a DNA match.

The Houston Police Department performed an Internic search and found the owners of Stephen's BDSM site (Stephen and JP, formerly head of Houston PEP).

The submissive said in a letter to Boudoir Noir, "What bothers me the most is that I may not ever play again, and I know I can not be truly faithful to vanilla-ness way of life; and that I may be disfigured to point of not being a able to wear shorts, or show legs to a man, or allow others see them at a play party. I dont mean to sound vain, but it bothers me a great deal. Not to mention that I am VERY OUTRAGED.He did not have to get that vindictive and do me the way he did."

Control FreakCome Inside - It's Warmer